I Choose Life!

Five months after the tragedy at Garissa , I sit here with my head down, staring at the dust. I am trying to let all this sink in. It is hard to tell the story, but I know I must. I am sharing my Garissa University massacre experience with the hope that it can help someone somewhere else to come to terms that there is always a second chance in life. 

I cannot choose to give into the temptation to null and void the butterflies that filled my stomach. What can take away the moment my heart skipped a beat, the emptiness that filled my heart and when my lungs constricted my ability to breath? I still have difficult moments to deal with.

And who do I turn to, what can I do now? I want to choose life and meaning. That is why I am living today and writing to mark the end of the “passover” at Garissa University. I say a word of thanks to all those who stood by me physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually. My life has indeed changed after the tragedy. My red roses have blossomed to let the whole world admire and smell their perfumed scent. My life has opened up in new ways I cannot explain.

Milly at Sheywe Guesthouse (09/15)

As I flashback to before joining Garissa University, I had no entry fees until church friends and relatives joined hands together through a mini Harambee. As a secondary student at Ibinzo Girls SS, I had been sponsored by CES Canada. The following year in 2013 I managed to start my my first year of university studies. I went through storms and turbulent  times but never gave up even though I was forced to defer my first semester, second year exams. I was enjoying my studies in Education, majoring in English Literature.

Life changed after I survived the April 2 attack. While the experience of grief is personal, I openly thank CES Kenya and CES Canada who courageously stepped in and shared their own experiences. That has pulled me through. Those who warmed my heart were my relatives, friends, and even total strangers that I never met. I am not sure if I will ever meet them but they have left an indelible mark in the healing of my wounds. From thousands of miles away, CES Canada felt the pain. They tracked me down in Nairobi. They had to know if my heart was still beating. 

On 11 May 2015 Rev. Nyanje Livingstone introduced me to Karen Dahl who flew to the my country all the way from Canada. She is a lovely lady who you will love to meet at any time anywhere. She wiped my tears from time to time and assured me that I will find a new normal situation but it will never be like before. Both Reverend and Karen decided to walk hand in hand with me. The burden of my school fees was reduced to zero and all my daily needs were met by both CES Kenya and CES Canada. I received counselling and now have a chance to work as teacher assistant at Kakamega Muslim SS. I am overwhelmed for I do not always know how to say thanks. For those still standing with me I express my deepest gratitude.

Milridah Ominde signing official register at Kakamega Muslim SS

Milly with Deputy Principal Madame Barasa - CES Kenya's Kakamega Muslim SS

I was given the chance to relocate to Moi University in Eldoret. Life has been so smooth for me since all my heavy loads were offloaded. I no longer call myself an orphan or a poor lady. I no longer tuck myself under the blankets  shedding tears that soak my pillow as I wipe them with my bed-sheet. I have made new friends who ask me “how are you today Milly,” not just, “how are you and what was your experience at Garissa?”  I am always glad that my friends have come to learn not to ask about my past but how I am doing now.

In real life situations there are those who will take advantage of terrible situations. For example the bus conductor whom I had paid my exact bus fare to Nairobi demanded 500 Ksh more on top of what I had paid. He threatened to leave me in the thicket by the Tana River if I did not pay. But there are many more good people than bad.

No matter how difficult the situation may be I will not get stuck in the mud forever. I have learned to ask for help whenever necessary and whom to ask for . I also know that the tragedy was not my fault and that in life there is no permanent situation we cannot break out of.

Once more I want to express my sincere gratitude to CES Kenya, CES Canada friends, relatives and not forgetting strangers for being so close to me. They planned, organized and reminded me to eat and drink during my trying moments. They are still doing so much and continue to support me. My family has tripled. I love you all and thank God for you.

Milridah Ominde

September 16, 2015

Kakamega KENYA